Before and after chemotherapy, a woman’s diet should include foods that contain antioxidants, which help minimize cell damage, and dietary fiber, which allows foods to move more quickly through body. Foods especially beneficial during this time include plant-based foods such as citrus fruits (which are high in vitamin C), tomatoes, potatoes, kiwi, carrots, squash and yams, and foods that contain whole grains such as cereals and breads.

Foods rich in vitamin E — plant oils, nuts and seeds — are also beneficial. And foods that contain vitamin C, zinc and building blocks of protein help promote wound healing. It’s also important to eat fatty fish, such as tuna, swordfish and mackerel, which contain cancer-fighting properties. Foods such as red meats, leafy green vegetables and eggs contain iron, which helps transport oxygen to cells.

“It’s very important to eat a diet that’s low in fat,” Moore said. “Fat can stimulate cancer growth and act as a cancer promoter. Ideally, the amount of calories in your diet that come from fat should only be 15 percent to 20 percent — that’s significantly less that the American Heart Association’s recommendation of 30 percent for heart patients.”

If it’s difficult to meet your body’s needs for vitamins and minerals with diet, Moore suggests taking a daily multivitamin that provides 100 percent of the recommended daily allowance.

During chemotherapy, side effects may make it a challenge to stay well nourished. “Try to eat five or six small meals a day,” Moore said. “Several small meals are often easier for your body to tolerate. But make each meal count. For example, cream-based soups have more nutrients than broth-based soups. If it’s difficult to eat that much food, consider substituting a nutritional supplement drink for one of those meals. But remember, they’re called supplements for a reason and they’re no substitute for eating the right foods. Also, consider stocking up on ready-to-eat cereals and simple-to-prepare frozen meals.”

Sometimes a change in diet can help alleviate the side effects of chemotherapy. For example, if you’re experiencing diarrhea, eat foods that naturally contain pectin — a thickener. These may include potatoes, applesauce, rice, cooked carrots, bananas and oatmeal. Drink water to replace lost fluids and limit caffeine to two to three servings a day.

“Quite simply, what we put in our mouths not only helps us fight cancer but can give us an edge in protecting ourselves from developing it,” Moore said.

Nobody could have prepared me for how overwhelming motherhood would be. However, like all things in my life, I settled into a routine of how to deal with each day’s needs and demands, and in doing so created pockets of time to devote to myself. My need to continue having time for me forced me to find a way to create that space. I dealt with my unrealistic expectations that I would be the “perfect” mother, and instead dealt with the reality that I am only human. In life, we are taught that if you give something you should get something back. In the beginning, babies just take and take and don’t have much to give back, so it’s normal to feel angry and resentful. But if one only looks deeper, they indeed give so much. They give us the chance to look deeper within and truly give of ourselves unconditionally. That’s something I definitely didn’t expect when I was expecting.

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About two weeks into motherhood, it hit me. Parenthood is about learning how selfish we are as individuals and learning how to deal with it. It wasn’t until my time was taken away from me and I was forced to put someone else’s needs first to the total exclusion of mine that I dealt with that. Somehow, the discovery of the source of my anguish lessened the frustration. I had something concrete to grab onto that was my very own, not just a textbook explanation of what I was going through and how “normal” it was. No matter what the books say, it doesn’t feel “normal” to not want the child you’ve spent nine months waiting for.

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It began with the sleep deprivation. Ethan would wake, like any newborn does, every three hours — wanting to be rocked, fed and changed. I, on the other hand, wanted to sleep and resented this little being who was suddenly preventing that. Soon tempers were on edge and my husband and I were battling over who’d taken care of the baby more that day to determine who rightfully should be the one waking up for that 3 a.m. feeding. Somewhere, somehow, despite what I’d read, I secretly believed my baby would be different and would just sleep through the night.

The sound of his cry began to eat away at me like nails on a chalkboard. I felt trapped, isolated, overwhelmed by what I believed to be the biggest mistake of my life. I felt like my career and my life were over. I could no longer pick up and go see a movie or grab a bite with my husband, take a walk in the park without packing mammoth amounts of “gear,” or “run to the store” to pick something up without it being the ordeal of the century. I barely had time to take a shower and often walked around disheveled in my pajamas until two in the afternoon. I was so concerned with mixing his formula and getting his laundry done I hardly remembered to eat a meal.

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At 9:16 p.m. our 9 lb. 7 oz. son Ethan Benjamin was born. I stared at him with tears in my eyes from across the room as they suctioned him and gave him his Apgar test. By the time my husband brought him to me, I was so glazed over from the morphine being pumped through my IV that I could barely focus on his face. It would be another hour and a half before anyone would put that baby in my arms. I wanted some time alone with my husband and new baby son, but nurses were in and out of our room every hour because of the c-section. They needed to measure both our vital signs regularly and monitor me for the onset of a spinal headache since the anesthesiologist had gotten a wet tap in my epidural.

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I expected (foolishly) that my pregnancy, delivery, and overall motherhood experience would be different from those of everyone else on the planet. I had my hospital bag packed months in advance despite the grim news from our doctor that the baby just wasn’t dropping, I wasn’t effaced at all and he thought I’d be pregnant for a long time. When I went in for my checkup on my due date the signs were still dismal.

At 2:30 a.m. the following morning I turned to my husband and said “John, I think I’m in labor.” He made some noise like “Hmmmphh” and continued to sleep. Two hours later I started having a great deal of discomfort and it was then that John realized this was “the real thing.” He started timing my contractions to find they were already six minutes apart. By the time we got to the doctor’s office they were two minutes apart and I was admitted immediately.

I knew contractions were supposed to hurt. It told me so on page 43 of the latest manual I’d been reading. But nobody could have prepared me for how much. I wanted to hold off on taking any narcotics because page 189 said they could have adverse affects on the baby. By 11 a.m. I was begging for Stadol and by 1 p.m. the anesthesiologist was brought in to give me my epidural. (And not a moment too soon if you ask me!) Once it kicked in, I was in heaven. This was a piece of cake. I’d have the easiest delivery the hospital had ever seen.

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In addition, weight training is highly recommended, especially using free weights because they put a greater load on the bones and joints than weight machines.

Have a fitness professional prescribe a weight-training routine suited to your needs.

According to Paul Coleman, Psy.D., a psychologist, family therapist and author of the new book “How to Say It to Your Kids: The Right Words to Solve Problems, Soothe Feelings and Teach Values,” you haven’t irreparably damaged either your child or your relationship with your child. But it is good, he suggests, to pay close attention to how your child is handling the news.

In a chapter of the book subtitled “Why Did You Lie About Santa,” Coleman explains that although few parents overreact to their child’s unmasking of Santa, many others under react.

He provides four things to consider:

If your child seems sadder, moodier, more withdrawn or more disobedient, could the discovery have touched on some past loss? Has a relative or pet died lately? Has the family moved away from old friends? Are you and your spouse arguing more than usual, or have you recently divorced? If so, take time to discuss these issues with your child.
If your child still seems to want to believe in Santa and is younger than 8 or 9, you may want to try convincing them to believe again, at least for one more holiday.
Younger children may be struggling with the concept of a white lie. If their thinking has not matured, this may reflect their strong preference for everything to be either one way or the other. They are not going to understand lying for social reasons, no matter what you tell them.

Once a child knows and believes the truth, don’t automatically change things such as your gift-buying strategies. They may still want you to mention Santa Claus and still enjoy being surprised on Christmas morning. The chapter also includes advice about avoiding certain statements in response to your child’s revelation that the Santa pretense is past tense.

Coleman includes these phrases in a section of what not to say:

It’s about time you learned the truth.
That’s life. You’ll learn many things are not what you think they are.
I’ve heard enough about this Santa Claus thing. Get over it.
You’re making a big deal about nothing.

A multiple vitamin and mineral supplement has been shown to improve mental functioning in children. Many vitamin and mineral deficiencies can impair proper brain function. Look for a good multiple vitamin mineral supplement for kids, and be sure it doesn’t have artificial colors or flavors. Also beneficial is supplementation of essential fatty acids — flax oil is a good source, available in liquid or capsules.

If nutritional intervention alone does not bring improvement, herbal and/or homeopathic therapy can be helpful. Consult with a good naturopathic physician, herbalist or homeopathic doctor for help with choosing the appropriate treatment.

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A.Valerian is a safe herb with proven sedative activity. It is okay for use in children, but ADHD may not be an appropriate use of it. Sedation of hyperactivity is a symptomatic treatment that won’t bring long-term improvement.

A sensible long-term approach for ADHD is nutritional. Optimizing nutrition, eliminating provoking foods and food additives, and supplementing vitamins and minerals are all beneficial for a calmer, more attentive child.

Start with a whole-foods diet, with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and fresh fish, meat and dairy products. Organic foods are best since they are not treated with pesticides. Next, eliminate sugar, processed foods and hydrogenated fats. This will provide the best nutrition for the brain and the body.

Both food additives and food allergies are associated with ADHD. One study showed improvement in 82 percent of hyperactive children who followed a low-allergen diet for only four weeks. Elimination and rotation of allergenic foods should help. Many hyperactive children are sensitive to food additives — that is, artificial colors and flavors, preservatives, etc.

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